Even If We Can’t Control The Winds Of Change, We Can Adjust Our Sails.

By Dr. Michelle Reiss, GP & Lifestyle Medicine Physician

We’ve all heard the saying “life is about making choices”, but 2020 has left many of us without the ability to make our own choices, instead, life changed without choice and without time for notice.

Suddenly, we found ourselves rioting for toilet paper; avoiding friends and family; losing our jobs; missing funerals, weddings and sporting events and frequently using new words such as “iso”, “social distancing” and “recession”.  

When events happen to us without choice and take effect beyond our control, it can be easy to despair and fear the future.
Anxiety increases around the question of “what if”:
“what if I get the virus?”;
“what if my elderly parent gets the virus?”;
“what if I lose my job?”.

Ongoing fears, social separation, forced changes in routines, and relentless media hysteria, have led to increased mental fatigue, anxiety and depression in our society. 

Yes, it can be unsettling that the winds of change are beyond our control and they can blow us in directions we don’t choose. BUT, if we can’t control the wind, maybe we can adjust our sails! It’s the power of taking control of the things that you can change, and using this power to steer your ship towards your new horizon. A horizon that is void of the mental effects of 2020.

There have been countless stories emerging this year of the positive effects of COVID. Stories of opportunity and enterprise, reconnection to the simple things in life and renewed focus on values.

Facebook has run the “Kindness Pandemic” which features a series of stories about strangers, neighbours and children delivering acts of kindness in their communities.

We’ve seen neighbourhoods connecting on their front yards rather than the usual “hi-bye” as they pass. The Central Coast has had a surge in bushwalkers and sunrise viewers the past few months, and the schools and realtors are reporting an in-flux of Sydneysiders relocating to our beautiful area.

These stories of opportunity and connection are testimony of people adjusting their sails in the howling winds of stress, anxiety and uncertainty. Amidst this storm, we can always rely on our internal compass to point true, to help us navigate toward our purpose and sense of fulfillment.

Simon Sinek* explains fulfillment very well with his “Golden Circles” and “Find Your Why” teachings. If we live our lives by accident then we live as it happens, meaning that we’re merely passengers on the boat of life, living by the effect of events. In contrast, if we define a purpose, we will become the captain of our own ship, we’ll adjust our sails and we’ll make more intentional choices.

If these choices make us feel good about ourselves because they align with our beliefs and values, or because they lead to increased confidence or self-esteem, we’ll experience contentment and calmness.

Social isolation showed us that, as humans, we’re social creatures requiring connectedness and support. The neighbourhoods that slowed down and purposely met on their front yards or over garden fences, rekindled the fulfillment that comes from these simple values. If you don’t adjust your sails to find ways to connect, the winds of isolation can push you into very lonely waters.

Being made redundant undeniably leads to fear of the future and stress in the present. The occurrence of such an event is beyond our control and cannot be changed, but our reaction to the occurrence can be a choice. We might initially feel undervalued or humiliated, and the financial fear may be constricting.

But with the change comes opportunity, and it would be helpful to foster a mindset that embraces challenges and effort. With effort comes the reward of achievement and pride. 

When planning ahead, we should align our decisions with our values. How much do we value feeling healthy, living with quality, spending time with people that matter and enjoying the simple pleasures?

Maybe COVID-19 and 2020 has brought with it an opportunity to do a stocktake of our lives:

Do I find fulfillment in my job? Do I feel proud of my lifestyle? Am I being a valuable friend or family member?

The biggest question is: Am I the captain of my ship that’s tacked my sails against the winds of adversity? Or have I succumbed to be a passenger and go where the wind blows me?

Am I living with passion and purpose?

When life throws us events beyond our control, the best we can do is to take control of the things that we can change. By changing our mindsets, finding a purpose aligned with our values and seeking opportunity amidst negativity, we’re able to navigate a path forward.

*https://simonsinek.com/find-your-why/#for-individuals